FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
