i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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