i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
