Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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