mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Two words: nipple clamps
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