Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
then he tried to convert me to islam
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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