And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
