R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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