didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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