At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize