dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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