i just wanna soil my oats bro
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize