do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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