it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
