And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
