At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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