I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
