if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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