that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
