Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize