It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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