I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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