I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
