Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
