Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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