Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
