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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
