I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
