hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
