He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
