she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
