just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
