tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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