the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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