I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
