I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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