I saw his package. It spoke to me.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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