he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
