I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
