yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
