I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
How does one acquire holy water?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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