Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He did a backflip because drugs
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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