It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
