We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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