rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
