I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
