does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
