no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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