Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
