$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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