My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
