Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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