I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Its about making memories worth repressing
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
