Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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