He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
