Swine flu. Run for my life!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
