Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
