Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
