it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
