Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
