I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
