I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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