yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
