so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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