listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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