dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
