But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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