I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
