So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
